COLD OPENING: NFL Championship Sunday

PREMISE: NFL announcers go into crisis mode at the thought of no football.

• Nice seeing JAJ and Dismukes right up front.
• The Boeing revel after JAJ’s “shake, rattle and roll” quip was pretty funny.
• The main premise of football season sending men into an existential crisis had promise, and there were some scattered funny lines throughout, but overall this was a very low-energy, underwhelming cold open.
• The “When I See You Again” ending was lame and came across the writers having no idea how to finish this sketch.
• The LFNY segue was awkward as hell.

RATING: **

MONOLOGUE: Dakota Johnson

PREMISE: Host Dakota Johnson explains ‘out of context’ quotes before getting hijacked by Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon.

• Johnson seems a lot looser and more comfortable than she did the last time she hosted in 2015.
• Her talking about being at the 40th anniversary and pointing out she was seated in front of Trump and behind Taylor Swift is an interesting curio, at least.
• The “most powerful person in the world” fakeout was funny.
• And of course, Justin Timberlake has to come and suck the air out of the monologue by making it all about him. I was so glad whan Dakota mocked him by pointing out that it’s been 10 years since he last hosted.
• Aaaaand there’s Jimmy Fallon in full Bary Gibb regalia. It’s gonna be a long night, folks.

RATING: * ½ 

SKETCH: WAITERS

PREMISE: Nervous waiters (Sarah Sherman, Johnson) constantly mess up the orders during a family dinner.

• Nice to see JAJ and especially Molly and Devon again so soon, plus Troast. Good selection of newer cast members for this sketch.
• It’s also nice to see Sarah stretching her range beyond her signature style and taking on more nuanced roles. She was very good in this.
• This featured very strong performances from everyone, but the premise went nowhere. None of the misinterpreted and increasingly nonsensical lines made me laugh, and the whole sketch just had a really dead energy to it.

RATING: * ½

FILM: Home Videos

PREMISE: Family secrets are revealed in a shocking home video.

• Lots of airtime for newer cast members tonight. Especially good seeing JAJ appear again as well as Dismukes, Sarah and Marcelo.
• Funny reveal with the Maury Povich parody.
• I’ve been critical of Mikey’s performances this season, but his douche-y performance here made me laugh. It’s also good to see Sarah in more utility and supporting roles where she can stretch her range.
• This wasn’t anything great, but it made me laugh enough to give it a passing grade. I especially got a kick out of Marcelo attacking Mikey with the chair.
• The ending with Marcelo gave me a good laugh, as did Dismukes’ reaction.

RATING: ***

SKETCH: THE BARRY GIBB TALK SHOW

PREMISE: The same goddamned thing as the previous ones.

• Oh boy, here we go…
• Once again, we get no mention that Robin Gibb is in fact dead, and has been for some time.
• Jimmy, to his credit, does his usual excellent job at getting into character for this sketch. He’s consistently excellent in these sketches and rarely if ever breaks.
• Even though it’s not THAT late into the show, it does feel a bit odd that this is Bowen’s first appearance.
• As much as I came into this groaning, I have to say the 10-year layoff is affording a bit of goodwill towards these sketches.
• Jimmy’s unhinged ranting at Kenan was great and for some reason him and Justin singing the Goldfish jingle Bee Gees-style mad me laugh. It got even crazier with the Saltburn reference and the “Staying Alive” / “Licking the Drain” parody.
• Jimmy’s Barry voice is slipping in and out occasionally.
• The zipline bit with Bowen’s Andrew Yang was anothe bit that made me laugh at how deranged and random it was.
• The riffing on Australia while introducing Dakota’s impression went on a bit too long.
• Nice bit getting the audience involved in the “rib cage as a lobster trap” bit.
• Overall, I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder, as I actually really enjoyed several parts of this installment. I wouldn’t mind waiting another 10 years for it, though.

RATING: *** ½ 

FILM: PLEASE DON’T DESTROY – ROAST

PREMISE: Martin, John and Ben meet Dakota Johnson, which turns into the two parties roasting each other.

• Ah, PDD, please make me laugh.
• Some very good slams from Dakota towards the PDD Boys; I especially loved when she called them the Lonelier Island and also referenced the Three Sad Virgins video with Taylor Swift.
• The Bigger Splash slam was hilarious.
• A very good, quick and funny PDD piece. The first above-average SNL piece in weeks.

RATING: ****

SKETCH: Big Dumb Cups

PREMISE: Airheaded spokeswomen (Johnson, Chloe Feinman, Heidi Gardner) shill their new product.

• A timely sequel to Big Dumb Hats.
• Much like Bowen, it feels a bit weird to see Chloe Feinman just appearing now.
• Dakota’s “…are you physically or at least spiritually blonde” was so bizarre it made me laugh.
• I also laughed at Heidi’s Trader Joe’s line.
• There’s some funny lines here and there, but the sketch as a whole went on a bit too long and didn’t do anything too different with the format.

RATING: ** ½ 

WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST & MICHAEL CHE

FEATURING: A guy named Ethan (Bowen Yang), tarot reader Jan Janby (Heidi Gardner)

• Best Jokes: DeSantis Endorsement, Trump Comeptency Test, Debanking, Godzilla Nomination, Spirit / Jet Blue Merger, Disney Maternity Wards
• Pretty fun energy to Update so far.
• Bowen’s piece wasn’t quite as interminable as his last few, but it still had a lot of the self-indulgent hallmarks that make Bowen a very hard cast member to root for currently.
• Heidi’s tarot card reader was a fun bit, and it was good to see Che get the sort of roasting Colin usually gets. Nothing here made me laugh out loud, but it was harmless fun. I did enjoy the “OnlyFans” bit.

RATING: ***

SKETCH: Book Club

PREMISE: A book club meeting goes in an unexpected direction.

• Both Ego and Punkie make their first appearances all night.
• They couldn’t find a role for Chloe Troast?
• This was terrible, terrible sketch with a dumb twist. Dakota did try and sell the material as best she could, but this went absolutely nowhere and the Shark Tank cameos at the end added nothing to a sketch that was already devoid of content. Not much else to say here.

RATING: *

SKETCH: Lost Bag

PREMISE: A woman (Johnson) goes through the contents of a lost bag with an unhelpful attendant (Devon Walker).

• Devon’s voice and mannerisms are cracking me up. I’m truly impressed by how much more presence and confidence he has this season.
• This premise definitely had potential, but ultimately I felt it didn’t really go far enough in how bizarre the contents of Dakota’s bag could’ve been.
• Michael Longfellow is once again wasted, but he manages to mine some laughs in his supporting role.

RATING: **

EPISODE MVP: Tough call in such a weak episode. I’d say maaaaybe Dismukes or Sarah Sherman. It was nice to see some of the cast members I’ve had issues with lately (Bowen, Mikey, Chloe Feinman) more subdued tonight, but it didn’t really help the show at all.

BOTTOM LINE: The second weak episode of SNL in a row. While not quite the interminable trainwreck the Elordi episode was, this was as forgettable and bland as SNL gets. Johnson was not a bad host, but she didn’t really work to elevate the material, either.